There Is No Clear Path

"Joko tää on hallusinaatio tai tietojenkäsittelytieteen opinnot tuntuu avaavan paljon uusia työllistymismahdollisuuksia."
(diary entry, August 29, 2015)

Lesson 2: There is no clear path. The myth only becomes visible in hindsight.

In late 2015, I found myself enrolled again.
Not in a workshop. Not in an art residency.
But in the sterile corridors of a computer science department.

Former strategist.
Unemployed. Undone.

I returned to study not because I had clarity
but because clarity had collapsed.

And in that collapse, something surprising happened:
I stopped trying to choose.
Stopped trying to win the internal argument between
"artist" and "technologist"
"creative" and "coder"
"worthwhile" and "wasted."

Instead, I began to walk a jagged line between all of them.
Latin by day. Algorithms by night.
Pop music and blockchain. Deleuze and distributed systems.
Shame. Hope. Coffee.

"Fashioning a life suitable for me."
(Aug 14)

No clear goal.
Just forward motion.

The mistake is to wait for a feeling of certainty before beginning.
There is no such feeling.
There is only weather. Clouds and sun. Progress and paralysis.

And if you're in this place, in this wilderness of partial starts and mental edits,
take heart.
Not because it’s easy.
But because it’s the only place myth can be forged.

Lesson 2 is this:
You cannot build a legendary life from a clean plan.
You build it from a messy record.
A scattered archive of attempts, doubts, and strange combinations
that no résumé would accept
but that no mythology can do without.

So keep walking.
And if today feels incoherent, congratulations.
You’re exactly where legend begins.